Download PDF , by David J. Ley
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, by David J. Ley
Download PDF , by David J. Ley
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Product details
File Size: 1807 KB
Print Length: 250 pages
Publisher: ThreeL Media (November 7, 2016)
Publication Date: November 7, 2016
Sold by: Amazon Digital Services LLC
Language: English
ASIN: B01M67PXK9
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This book is quite possibly one of the most important things I have come across in my personal life. It was extremely approachable and answered a ton of questions I had kicking around in my head for years that made me feel extreme amounts of shame and self hatred. Pornography use is an insanely touchy concept in life, and this book covers a wide range of topics and questions to help men like myself better understand themselves. If you have questions about porn use in your own life or you cannot come to terms with someone in your life who uses porn, you really need to do yourself a favor and read this. It will probably make you feel an extraordinary amount of relief and allow you to enjoy your sexuality versus being slowly destroyed by it.
Lots of people watch porn, but even if they admit it, it's often with guilt and shame. This book says, "Sexual pleasure is good, and watching porn can be part of sexual fulfillment -- it can be good!" From that perspective, Ley can then analyze false allegations made against porn, along with some true challenges and difficulties, showing how most can be successfully navigated. And he can argue how much that is laid at porn's door should actually be laid at the feet of the person's own life choices and their own pre-existing unease with their own sexuality. If you don't think there is any possible positive value in porn, then of course all those challenges will just strengthen your case that no one should ever look at it. If you start with the idea that it can be good, then everything looks different. There's much practical advice here for how to navigate all those difficulties. I highly recommend it.
Dr. David Ley is a top authority on sex and porn. Although this book is written to men, women should read it too, and they should discuss it with the men in their lives--their lovers and their kids, etc. I am an AASECT certified sex therapist, and I nodded "yes!" to myself as I read the book. Dr. Ley's observations certainly are supported from my experience as a therapist, and as a man. He is correct in stating that porn is not a public health crisis, and it is not porn--but the way people view and use it--that sometimes causes problems in relationships and with individuals. Porn is a paper tiger, not a raging menace!As a society, we blame porn for just about anything we do not like. We call it an addiction and a disease, but it is neither! Dr. Ley rightly identifies t he anti-porn movement as a dangerously inaccurate phenomenon which does damage to real people--to porn actors and to those who enjoy viewing porn.Dr. Ley argues--and I agree--that some porn is well done, and some is not, but the real answer is not to censor porn.The real answer is to make better porn where all porn actors are treated well by porn producers, and by consumer. Ethical, responsible porn is the goal. Dr. Ley is not a drumbeating maniac contending that we all should immerse ourselves in porn for hours at a time. To the contrary, he contends that porn need not be hidden and covered with guilt and shame. Instead, porn can and should be a springboard to healthy discussion with our lovers. Such discussion goes a long way to improving our sexual satisfaction. Masturbation is healthy, and so is partner sex. They are not at odds. This does not mean we always need porn to conjure an arousing fantasy. We also need to use our own erotic imaginations.Dr. Ley is clear and direct. He uses interesting illustrations from years gone by to show that porn and explicit images did not start with the Internet. He acknowledges feminist porn, and he includes a Foreword by Tristan Taormino, a feminist pornographer. He also features an insightful Afterword by a real porn star, Chanel Preston. Finally, he is evidence based, and he includes sex research and information about sex researchers who have delved into porn.This book should be used by sex therapists to help clients deal better with sex and porn. Highly recommended!
I'm a psychotherapist and sex therapist. This is a great book! I have so many books I want to read. I start reading one, read about a 1/3 of it and then "forget" to pick it back up. With this book, I read it in a few days! It's a quick, fun, informative read. It's helpful for addressing the shame that may go with pornography use while increasing the responsibility associated with it. Even though it's written for men, I think all genders can benefit from reading this. I will recommend this to my friends and clients!
Excellent work on a complicated subject! Dr. Ley uses humor to break the ice, and simplifies the complex psychology of the topic. I would recommend this book to anyone interested in learning more about themselves and their sexuality.
Before reading this book I had fallen into a pattern in recent months of beating myself up for giving in to the urge to masturbate twice a day, and using all kinds of non-productive tactics in an attempt to phase it out of my life. After reading Ethical Porn For Dicks I feel like I can finally channel my desire for self-improvement into the areas of my life that need it, and not lose all faith in myself just for having an orgasm. The advice is very practical, and doesn't just tell you what you want to hear - it offers actual solutions. The writing is very compassionate and I hope it continues to help the many people who need it, instead of listening to unhelpful shame tactics
This book I needed for a course at my University. So glad my Professor assigned it. Also got to speak to the author during class. Very good
Finally, a rational and empirically-supported discussion about pornography use. Promotes sexual responsibility without sacrificing sexual pleasure. Well done, David Ley
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