Free Ebook Why Is It Always About You? : The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism, by Sandy Hotchkiss
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Why Is It Always About You? : The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism, by Sandy Hotchkiss
Free Ebook Why Is It Always About You? : The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism, by Sandy Hotchkiss
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Review
The Hartford Courant A how-to not only for disengaging yourself from the narcissists in your life but also learning to live with them.Drew Pinksy, M.D. A practical and accessible book about one of the most prevalent personality disorders of our time.Jerold J. Kreisman, M.D. coauthor of I Hate You -- Don't Leave Me: Understanding the Borderline Personality. People who experience narcissism in themselves or in others now have a guide to help them steer through the storm.
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About the Author
A prominent psychiatrist, James F. Masterson was born in Pennsylvania and educated at the University of Notre Dame and Jefferson Medical College. As a psychiatrist, Masterson became an authority on the treatment of personality disorders. He founded the Masterson Institute for Psychoanalytic Psychotherapy in 1977 and he wrote seven influential texts during his career. He died in 2010.
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Product details
Paperback: 240 pages
Publisher: Free Press; 38025th edition (August 7, 2003)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0743214285
ISBN-13: 978-0743214285
Product Dimensions:
5.5 x 0.6 x 8.4 inches
Shipping Weight: 8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.5 out of 5 stars
343 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#32,223 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
First off, there are some very good insights into why narcs do what they do. However, she continuously makes the erroneous assumption that they don't *realize* what they are doing. Not true. They know exactly what they are doing. It's intentional. Read "In Sheep's Clothing" by George Simon Jr to get a much more accurate understanding of what is happening behind the mask.Also, in the chapter about the aging narc, she doesn't emphasize the most important consideration. Going "no contact" should be very seriously considered by all of us ACONs (Adult Children of Narcissists), rather than allowing the guilt and manipulation to convince us to stick around and be abused. She suggests lying to ourselves and calling criticism "help" to make ourselves feel better about being abused. ???? No. Go "No Contact" as soon as you possibly can. For yourself, for your children, for society in general.Finally, having been raised by two people who consider me to have no value beyond what they can get out of me, I strongly disagree with her views on self-esteem. She doesn't have the experience or understanding to "get" that a child of a narc (or 2 narcs) NEEDS to learn to value themselves regardless of our successes and performance. She believes that if a person succeeds in things, they will develop self-esteem. No. I have succeeded in many things over the years, with flying colors. I feel capable in those areas, but in no way did my self-esteem increase. My sense of value is only now increasing by basing my worth and value on the fact that I am a human being, lovingly created by God. I am not values for what I give and do, but for just being me. If you are a narc survivor, don't buy into the nonsense that doing more and doing it better will give you value or self-esteem. You are valuable just the way you are.
This book has been instrumental in helping me heal through the trauma and pain from "co-parenting" with a Narcissist. I've felt so helpless the last five years, and after reading this book, I've gained an entirely new perspective on how Narcissists' brains work, why they act the way they do, and how I can cope with our volatile, forced relationship. This book is perfect for those who are forced to have relationships with Narcissists, such as a co-parent.
I went through various emotions when reading this book. First, it was a kind of comfort, because it described very accurately traits i feel like I'm encountering more and more the older I get. There's something comforting about having a name for a phenomenon and also about knowing that I'm not the only one observing it.Second, it was a kind of unease, as I realized I had symptoms of both an enabler as well as of a narcissist (apparently many have at least a few symptoms of narcissism, but actual full-blown "narcissistic personality disorder" is somewhat rare), although there were excellent practical suggestions as to how to overcome them （as well as, interestingly, for how to coexist with narcissists).Third, it was a kind of fascination--i was basically shocked at how parenting during the first 36 months of a child's life can affect how emotionally/mentally healthy and capable a person can be at age 30. I now want to study more about early child development. Seriously shocking--even more surprising is how many seemingly healthy kids come out of families not necessarily educated about this development period.Fourth, i was (am) bound by a desperate question: is it possible for someone with strong narcissistic tendencies to recover? I.E.: is there hope!? If not, this may be one of the most depressing books I've read, as an American (where narcissism has been steadily on the rise). I'm desperate to know this answer, and have done research to try to find the authors email address to ask her!One additional note: I deducted one star because, towards the end, the author vaguely draws a link between the decline of the prevalence of monotheistic "traditional" religion in American culture and the rise of narcissism, but does not provide sufficient (or any, really) argument for this link, nor does she provide reasonable cause to believe that a return to such religion would put narcissism on the decline (nor am I persuaded that is even her argument). As a direct result of this passage, her credibility took a big hit in my mind; thank goodness it was towards the end, and thank goodness the rest of it made so much sense. However, I now feel like I need to read more to validate what I learned in this book.(My Goodreads review: https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/1045305037?book_show_action=false)
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